Last Monday, I met a very nice man at Panera for our first meet and greet. We’d been exchanging messages on Match for about a month.
Side note… In general, I have not been pleased with Match matches. The few who I have met come across far better on profile than in person, and don’t get me started on looks. The Match guys tend not to move from messaging to meeting with a steady pace; it’s as if they really just want a pen pal. In contrast, the OKCupid guys, for the most part, move at a brisk pace and seem far more willing to meet.
Anyway back to the Panera meeting. My plan was to once again attempt the Cosmo flirting using their lean in… stare… move slowly back technique.
I arrived right on time… kind of amazing for me. I didn’t see a blonde haired man loitering up front, so I walked up and ordered a tea. As I selected my teabag, I noticed he was sitting behind the entry, so he was looking right at me. I waved. I noticed he was both shorter than I anticipated and more slender, and he sat perfectly still. No fidgeting. No phone out. None of the constant movement he would have seen from me had I arrived first.
I walked over to his table and he stood to greet me. I was wearing boots…as one of my friends calls them “whore boots.” To clarify, that’s what she says she looks like when she wears them.
I think they are stylish even though they have only 3″ heels. As he leaned in for a hug (something I am not a fan of unless I know the person), I could tell he was maybe one – two inches taller than me, so about 5’6″ or 5’7″ at most. My filter is supposed to bar anyone under 5’10”. Anyway… I was there, and we’d exchanged messages long enough that I knew we’d get along, and I am so chatty that I can talk to anyone.
As we exchanged information, the small group at the table to our left grew to about 15 people of varying ages. At first they babbled about food, drinks, and the weather, and then they moved on to religion. They also literally moved around to each other… a lot. The group was large, and each move required jostling, passing babies, children, coats, food… you name it… and I was pressed or pushed on by it. Despite the Match’s work for a Catholic charity, he didn’t enjoy the crowding any more than I did. I was getting ready to suggest we leave, when he asked if we should move to an empty table closer to the back. Because I am terrible about exit routines, I said yes. DOH!
As we walked to the back, I thought… I’ll sit next to him and lean in. I sat next to him alright, but the air of calmness, and perhaps reserve, that he projected stopped me. We chatted for another 10 minutes or so before I looked at the time and noted I should be leaving. He agreed. We thanked each other, and I never heard from him again. He was as unattracted to me as I was to him. I’m betting my constant chatter and fidgeting when I wasn’t talking with my hands were not at all what he’d expected. 🙂 Or maybe it was the “whore boots.”