Several months ago, TallDarkandHandsome (yes, seriously, that’s his profile name; look it up on OKC) messaged me after winking (I don’t respond to winks), and then systematically liking each of my photos over a two-week period. I don’t respond to photo likes either. An untrained monkey can hit links on a webpage. If I am going to spend time messaging, I want to know there’s a fully functioning, adult brain inside the creature on the other end of the keyboard.
I ignored his first message as well: “Hi.”
Pretty, tall, yet monosyllabic didn’t cut it.
I guess he found my lack of response intriguing; the next message was lengthy. In addition to the information visible in his profile, I learned he ran a local Navy contract business, which he said was small but lucrative. If his photos were real, the BMW, large and beautifully landscaped in-ground pool, HUGE decked out Harley, and travel locations that included sunny beaches with blue-green water, snow skiing and lodge, Rome, Dublin, Toronto, and several other cities I couldn’t immediately identify, they were testimony to a disposable income that fell in the “very comfortable” range. He has two children, one a teenager, the other a pre-teen, who both live with their mother in another state. He sees them monthly and for lengthier visits over Christmas, spring break, and the summer. He has a brother who lives in the area and they see their mother, who also lives nearby, regularly.
I found his message incongruous with his photos and profile, which were masterfully arranged to sell himself to as many women as possible. The message seemed to be from a decent man; whereas, the profile was from a “hey, Baby”… you know, the guys that go to bars to pick up a different woman every night…two if they can get the first one over with quickly enough… Quantity not quality seems to be their, and his profile’s, aim.
Anyway, I was curious, so I responded. I asked if his photos were real and current. They showed a very handsome, lean-jawed, sandy-haired man of about 40. He dressed nicely in each, and he didn’t include any shirtless photos. One photo showed him in a tight t-shirt, which indicated a fit physique. He did not like my question, took offense, and cut off communication after saying he could ask the same.
Oh well… Next.
About a month ago he messaged again. At first, I thought he hadn’t recognized me from our previous tête-à- tête. He did, however, and after a few “Hi, how are yous?” he apologized for his behavior during the previous go around. OK… I accepted his apology, and we chatted easily via message before switching to texting.
Curiosity remains one of my dominant personality traits; it’s helpful when I learn new skills, and it pushed me to earn each of my degrees. My strength can also be a weakness though… sucking time from a busy schedule to appease the questions bouncing around in my head and distracting me. I was very curious about him, so I met him at Starbucks last week.
His height is 100% accurate. His photos are fairly accurate; the most recent shots are well angled to hide a smidgen of grey (which most women find sexy, so why hide it?), crinkles around the eyes, and a loosening jawline. He’s 45 and his skin shows he has seen a lot of tanning.
When I entered, I saw him sitting to the left. He had two teas on the table in front of him; he’d already asked my favorite, so he wasn’t being presumptuous. He stood and smiled when I entered, “Red Zone.” A big smile spread across his face revealing more lines, pleasant ones though, and two rows of even, white teeth. He stretched out his right hand to shake mine, and pulled the chair out for me. Nice manners too.
Our conversation was easy. He smelled good as we leaned toward each other to share photos. He showed his children, who are currently visiting him, and I shared family photos from a party the previous weekend.
Since that day, we’ve walked the boardwalk and stopped for drinks and met at Burtons Grille for apps and wine. He’s nice, and an easy conversationalist. However, I am learning he’s used his looks as a crutch all his life, and the aging process is hitting him hard. He’s bright and obviously capable, but this very visible insecurity reminds me too much of my ex for me to tag along for the ride.