After weeks of discussing it, Steel Blue and I decided to go for it and try for 52 dates in 52 weeks. Over the holidays, we set up or refreshed free online dating accounts and set up one paid account a piece. Plenty of Fish and OkCupid are the two free dating sites; although, both have paid options. For instance, in the paid version, OkCupid allows users to search based on attractiveness. I initially liked that idea, but think about it… Who is judging attractiveness? Couldn’t someone have his friends stack the deck for him. Heck, the accounts are free; he could set up several accounts to call himself attractive. The only requirement for a free account is an email address. Who among us doesn’t have multiple email accounts? I digress. Eharmony and Match are the two paid sites we selected.
Today, three days into this adventure, here’s what I have learned: men are also using multiple sites. 😉 who knew? So now I need a free AshleyMadison account to check whether my contacts are actually cheating spouses, right? Another lesson learned: women, even those without photos receive a lot of initial messages or other attention. Winks, flirts, and messages arrived aplenty while I had no photo posted. Photos, even tiny shots that show me as a piece of background, received a shit-ton of responses. I cannot imagine a number of messages beautiful young women receive! So how does one weed through this mess? Filters, that’s how.
There’s a filter for age: To the 26-year-old who texted me to say we’d make a good fit and asked what I did in my spare time, my son suggested I answer: “I like to hang out with my son, who is almost your age… hey. Wait! Haven’t I seen you at my house?” And for the red-faced, obese, surely septuagenarian? “Dude! I’m not taking care of you as your health declines.”
Then I set the ethnicity filter to only white and Hispanic. I still received too many emails, so adios muchachos… I filtered for only white people.
Then I was left with screening for other basics: fit, good-looking (I’m shallow, OK?!?!), intelligent, and with a career vs. a job. I prefer college-educated, so that was next.
How did I judge intelligence you ask, well, as an initial filter grammar, of course. Gentle reader, did you know that some men do not like being told they were rejected for grammar? The response: a hate message from a man whose initial contact was, “U got pix?” I ignored several emails until the last, in which he asked in a manner I took to be sincere, “Why didn’t I measure up? What was missing in my profile?” My response was that his profile had several grammar errors that were a bit off-putting. He was disgruntled enough to tell me I wasn’t that attractive anyway, followed with, “U don’t look all that like u spend time in the gym.” Did he omit a word? Did he mean “all that?” I don’t know, but I blocked him anyway. Can you imagine the type of person this guy is?
So, Gentle Reader, I am done for today. No dates yet, but despite the obnoxious louts, there appear to be a few interesting, intelligent, funny men out there, so cross your fingers, and I might still wrangle a date out of this week. If not, have faith in Steel Blue.